Do You Speak the "Love" Language?

There are 5 love languages but each of us typically only use 2 or 3 of
the languages.

“People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.” ―– Dr. Gary Chapman

By now you have probably heard of a “love language”. Dr. Chapman became well known in 1995 when he published his book, The Five Love Languages. For 2 decades, his book has been one that couples have pulled out to improve their marriage and, in many cases, repair their marriage.

My husband Steve and I were first introduced to this book through a class at our church. After 10 years of marriage, we thought it would be fun to take a marriage class together to rekindle our relationship. We had babies at home, I was a stay at home mom trying to find my “purpose” after working full time for 8 years.

Steve and I have been married now for 25 years. Our children are in their teens and I still find it fun to pull out this book to “take the quiz” and remind myself of how to show my husband I love him.

“The Love languages describe the way we feel loved and appreciated. Depending on our individual personality types, we may feel loved differently than how our partners do.” 

There are 5 love languages, but each of us typically only use 2 or 3 of the languages.


The Five Love Languages

Words of affirmation   Using words to build up the other person. “Thanks for taking out the garbage.” Not – “It’s about time you took the garbage out. The flies were going to carry it out for you.”

Gifts    A gift says, “He was thinking about me. Look what he got for me.”

Acts of Service    Doing something for your spouse that you know they would like. Cooking a meal, washing dishes and vacuuming floors are all acts of service.

Quality time   By which I mean, giving your spouse your undivided attention. Taking a walk together or sitting on the couch with the TV off – talking and listening.

Physical touch    Holding hands, hugging, kissing, and…are all expressions of love.

Take the quiz online for FREE at Dr. Gary Chapman’s website.

And find more ways to show love to your spouse.

Contributing writer: Christi Leonard, wife, stay at home mom, homeschooling mom/teacher, early childhood specialist


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